


Gone On Holiday

by azirqphale



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Protective Crowley, Sad Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 15:11:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19428544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azirqphale/pseuds/azirqphale
Summary: Aziraphale is still sad about not being apart of heaven anymore. Crowley comforts him. Aziraphale may or may not kiss Crowley at some point. Kind of a follow up of my previous fic titled "I love you"





	Gone On Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> alright boys girls and people who don't identify with either of those labels, i started writing this fic because i was sad and wanted to project it somewhere so clearly projecting onto my favourite character was the way to go. bit messy but gets my point across in the end i think

Aziraphale’s bookshop had been closed for a week, a sign on the door that read “gone on holiday”, kept any customers away. Aziraphale had not, in fact, gone on holiday and he had not actually left his bookshop for a week or so. The only person who had gone in or out of the shop during this time was Crowley, who had been making a point of checking up on Aziraphale after he had found him in the corner of the backroom of the shop, crying. Aziraphale very much appreciated Crowley’s efforts, but wished that Crowley would give him a call before suddenly entering the bookshop, as each time he had done this, it had been at times when Aziraphale was feeling particularly terrible. Maybe Crowley sensed this, and that was why it kept happening, but in those moments, Aziraphale hadn’t very much wanted anyone to see him in the state that he was in, and found Crowley’s random visits a bit inconvenient at first, but eventually realized their worth. Aziraphale wanted so deeply to be able to get over the whole business with not technically being apart of Heaven anymore, but something in him would not allow him to do that, no matter how hard he had been trying. 

* * *

The first time Crowley had entered Aziraphale’s bookshop unannounced and uninvited, he had found Aziraphale sitting on the sofa in the back room of the shop. Perhaps sitting wasn’t the right word for it, it was more like a slump, as half of his body was practically on the floor, and the other half was sadly looking up towards the ceiling. His usually perfect blonde curls were out of place, stray pieces of hair poking disastrously out in every direction, which gave him a rather dishevelled look. His coat and bowtie were thrown onto the floor beside him, and the two top buttons of his shirt were undone. He held a half empty bottle of wine in one hand, and beside him on the sofa, were two other empty bottles. This was quite unusual for Aziraphale, who had perfect posture and who always kept his hair and his clothing in perfect condition. He hated looking even the slightest bit not put together, and made sure no one ever saw that. He had clearly not been expecting any visitors, and looked quite taken aback when Crowley appeared in front of him. 

“You’re not usually the type to drink alone…” Crowley said cautiously, sitting down beside Aziraphale on the sofa. 

Aziraphale thought about what to say to Crowley, he almost blurted out something along the lines of “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call first? This is a horrible time for you to be here!”, but decided that that would have been far too much work to say, especially since he had drank almost three bottles of wine.

“Ah, well, it would appear that I am.” Muttered Aziraphale, flinging his hand into the air as if to say “you got me!”, and turning slightly to look at Crowley, and then turning away to take a swig from the bottle that he was holding. 

Crowley considered asking Aziraphale if he could have some of that, but decided against it, because he wanted to help his Angel, and figured that drinking wouldn’t get him very far. He considered maybe telling Aziraphale to sober up, but also decided against that, after all, he had come in uninvited, and assumed that Aziraphale would not be in the mood to be told what to do. 

“Rough day?” Asked Crowley, who already knew what the answer was, but figured he would ask anyways. He looked worriedly at the Angel, who was avoiding any sort of eye contact and staring down at the floor.

“No, Crowley, I’m just sitting back here drinking ridic-ri… a lot, of alcohol by myself for the Hell of it.” Replied Aziraphale, stumbling over his words and not really thinking about what he was saying until he had finished saying it, and had noticed the look of shock on Crowley’s face.

“Oh my,” Aziraphale said quickly, now looking over at Crowley instead of the floor, “So sorry, my dear, I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

Aziraphale sighed loudly, put down the wine bottle, and put his head in his hands, further messing up his hair. He couldn’t believe he had made such a remark to Crowley, who was clearly only trying to help him. He wasn’t generally a sarcastic person, but wine and sadness will do that to someone.

“Don’t apologize, Angel, I understand.” Crowley answered softly, putting an arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders a bit awkwardly, but still reassuringly. 

“Today has been rather... di-ffi-cult” Aziraphale said into his hands, taking pauses as he said the word “difficult”, which had become a rather hard thing to say. 

Crowley took Aziraphale’s hands away from his face and into his, forcing Aziraphale to look at him. Aziraphale looked at him with his unusually tired and sad eyes, and tilted his head to the side, still trying to figure out why Crowley cared so much for him, and how Crowley had been so understanding even when Aziraphale had been rude to him. He was still rather upset that Crowley was seeing him in the dishevelled state that he was in, as it had been the second time that week that Crowley had seen such things from Aziraphale. He was glad, though, that Crowley was there, even though the circumstances were not the best.

“Is it the same thing as before that’s bothering you?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale nodded and sat up a little, trying to fix his posture, but ultimately gave up after seeing no point in trying to do so. He instead moved closer to Crowley, and put his head on his shoulder, while reaching for his hand. Crowley smiled a little as Aziraphale did this, and liked that he could feel Aziraphale’s slow, steady, breathing on his neck. Aziraphale noticed Crowley’s smile, as he looked at him, and gave a sad smile of his own.

“Why did you choose today?” Whispered Aziraphale.

“What do you mean?” Replied Crowley.

“Well, why was today “show up to my shop unin-...without being asked” day?” Said Aziraphale in reply, who was now sort of regretting drinking all that wine, but didn’t actually plan on taking it out of his system anytime soon, because he wasn’t ready to fully face reality, or to be fully aware that Crowley was seeing him looking like such a mess, or to have to care about how worried Crowley looked about him. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was rather quite the opposite; he cared so much, and needed a break from it. 

“Oh, I don’t know, I just thought I'd drop in to say hello and to quickly check to see how you were doing. It worked out, I suppose.” Answered Crowley.

“Yes, it looks like it did.” Said Aziraphale quietly. 

* * *

  
  


The second time that Crowley had shown up at Aziraphale’s bookshop uninvited, Aziraphale was sitting at his desk, leaning over a book that now had teardrop imprints in it, with his head in his hands. His entire look was similar to the one that Crowley had previous seen Aziraphale in, minus the alcohol. Aziraphale had heard Crowley come in and had quickly tried to collect himself before Crowley could make his way over to his desk, but was for the most part, unsuccessful in doing this, as all he was able to do was put his glasses on to try to make it look like he had been reading. 

“Hello, Crowley.” Said Aziraphale upon seeing Crowley, forming a sad smile on his face. 

Crowley saw right through Aziraphale’s attempt at looking put together and the second he saw the teardrops on Aziraphale’s book, he knew what was going on. 

“What’s wrong, Angel?” Asked Crowley, pulling up a chair beside Aziraphale’s own. 

“Ah, we’re jumping right into the questions today, are we?” Aziraphale replied in response, trying to avoid answering Crowley’s question. 

“Angel, I’m worried about you, I don’t want to bother you with a load of questions, but, can you just talk to me about it?” Said Crowley, making eye contact with the Angel through his sunglasses, which was noticed by Aziraphale, who immediately looked down at the floor. 

The Angel wondered how to word his response. He knew that Crowley had an idea of why Aziraphale was feeling the way that he was, but did not, of course, know everything. Aziraphale also wondered how vulnerable he wanted to allow himself to be, because although he knew that Crowley would be supportive, he didn’t want to worry him any more than he already had. What he really needed in that moment was a hug, not a questioning session, and rather than answer Crowley’s question, moved closer to him and put his arms around him.

“I suppose I could talk to you about it, but it's quite sad… Clearly.” Whispered Aziraphale into Crowley’s ear 

“Please, I just want to be able to understand.” Replied Crowley, who had been rather surprised by Aziraphale’s sudden showcase of affection, but was not bothered by it, and had moved his hands up towards Aziraphale’s face to take off his glasses, and then had found his hand had moved away from the glasses, and that he was now gently stroking the side of Aziraphale’s face. 

“Alright, my dear. Could we move to the backroom first, perhaps? This is a rather uncomfortable position to be in.” Aziraphale asked. He was right, sitting in two chairs across from each other, with each others arms tangled around one another, was not exactly the best way to sit. 

Aziraphale untied his arms from where they had been around Crowley and stood up, putting his arm out behind him, inviting Crowley to grab it. Crowley didn’t hesitate to do so, and allowed Aziraphale to lead him to the backroom of the shop, where they had so often spent their time together. Crowley thought about how happy Aziraphale had been in those times, and hoped that sooner, rather than later, they could have that again. Aziraphale gestured for Crowley to sit down on the sofa first, and then joined him, laying his head down on Crowley’s lap and looking up at him.

“I do believe you know the reason for…” Aziraphale paused briefly and took a breath before continuing his sentence, and taking his hand to gesture vaguely towards himself, “This.” 

“This?” Asked Crowley, at first not understanding what Aziraphale was referring to with his gesture.

“Well, I don’t know, me being a bit of a disaster.” Replied Aziraphale 

“You’re not a disaster, Angel. I’d also say I've got a feeling as to what’s going on, but you’ve never really elaborated on it.” Crowley said, looking down at the Angel who was laying in his lap and looking up at him with sad eyes and a half smile. 

“It’s just the whole “no sides” thing, I mean, as much as I love being able to be with you without hiding, I still don’t know how to cope with not actually belonging to Heaven anymore. It’s like, I’m still an Angel, but I can no longer associate with Heaven, and it hurts. I don’t regret what we did, Crowley, and I never will, but I don’t know how to deal with what we did. I imagine I’ll get over it eventually, but for now I’m just… Sad, my dear.” Aziraphale said rather quietly, like he didn’t actually want it to be heard, but decided he had no choice but to say it. 

“Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry.” Said Crowley, not knowing what else to say in response 

“Don’t apologize, it’s not at all your fault. I don’t want you thinking that you’re to blame for this in any way.” Aziraphale said quickly in response.

“I’m always here for you, Aziraphale, you know that. I will  _ always _ be with you, don’t be afraid to count on me.” Crowley whispered.

At this, Aziraphale smiled, not like the fake smiles he had been giving Crowley, but for the first time in awhile, a genuine smile. Aziraphale knew that he would continue to be sad, of course, but felt glad that Crowley had said that to him.

“Thank you.” Said Aziraphale in reply. It wasn’t much of a response, but they both knew it was much more than a simple “thank you”, it was, in a way, an expression of love. 

* * *

  
  


Crowley’s third visit to Aziraphale’s bookshop had occurred three days after the second. Crowley had considered giving Aziraphale a call first, but decided that spontaneous late night visits always worked better. As he pulled up to the shop, he had hoped that Aziraphale might have reopened the bookshop, and opened the blinds to allow light in. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and the “gone on holiday” sign was quite definitely still up, along with the drawn blinds. Crowley let out a small sigh as he turned his key to the bookshop in the door, wishing Aziraphale would have just left it unlocked, but knowing that that was of course an unwise idea, this was London, after all. 

Crowley knew Aziraphale would be in the backroom of the shop, because it was the only place that was fully hidden from the rest of it. He walked towards it slowly, being cautious not to make too much noise. As he approached, he could hear Aziraphale’s voice, 

“Could you stop being sad for two bloody seconds? Maybe stop sulking for a minute and read a book, or do something other than cry and drink wine? There’s no reason for this… I really cannot understand this. Why am I so sad over something that doesn’t matter anymore?” Aziraphale was saying, pacing back and forth in the backroom of the shop.

Crowley thought that perhaps Aziraphale was talking to someone, and moved more quickly towards the sound of the Angel’s voice to see who he was talking to. Crowley saw that Aziraphale was talking to no one, other than himself, and stood there watching him, confused. When Aziraphale noticed Crowley, his eyes widened and he gasped. 

“Oh, fuck!” Exclaimed the Angel, “How long have you been standing there?” 

Upon hearing Aziraphale swear, Crowley’s eyebrows seemed to raise involuntarily, and his lips parted in shock. He had only ever heard the Angel say words that were not technically swears, although Aziraphale innocently considered them to be. He walked towards Aziraphale’s sofa and sat down, leaving him standing in the middle of the room, looking embarrassed and horrified that Crowley had just heard everything he had said. 

“I think I heard most of the, uh,  _ speech _ .” Replied Crowley, “Also, since when do you say actual curse words?” 

“When I'm alone and someone walks in on me yelling at myself for being sad, I suppose.” Responded Aziraphale, dropping his head down, looking defeated. 

He walked to the couch and sat down beside Crowley, his head still hung down in shame. Crowley then turned to the Angel and said;

“So, what’s up?” 

“What’s up?” Aziraphale said, mimicking Crowley, “I do believe you already know the answer to that, my dear, you did hear it, after all.” 

“Well, yes, but specifics are always good to have.” Replied Crowley, “You know, like giving me a way of knowing how to cheer you up, maybe?” 

“Right…” Sighed Aziraphale in response, shrugging his shoulders with the same defeated look on his face as before, but then looking like he’d realized something, a sudden twinkle appearing in his eyes. 

“Angel, it’s alright that you’re still upset, there’s really no point giving yourself angry pep talks. Well, I don’t know if I'd even call them angry pep talks, what I heard was-”

Crowley was not able to finish his sentence, because Aziraphale had turned to him and forcefully put his lips on Crowley’s, had pushed Crowley down onto the sofa and was now on top of him, kissing him with both softness and force, and running his fingers through Crowley’s hair wildly. He had at last figured out what Crowley could do to cheer him up; let him kiss him. 

“Aziraphale-” Crowley gasped, first taken aback and then impressed by how forceful Aziraphale had been.

“Shut up.” Aziraphale whispered into Crowley’s lips, and then moved his hand towards Crowley’s sunglasses and threw them off, revealing the Demon’s shocked eyes staring up at him. After a quick second of processing what was going on, Crowley kissed Aziraphale back, and Aziraphale made a pleased noise and pushed Crowley down onto the sofa even harder, both of them gasping for air and then continuing as they had been. 

After five minutes of this, they pulled apart from each other, but remained in the same position, Aziraphale lying on top of Crowley, his hand caressing Crowley’s face softly. Aziraphale smiled lovingly at Crowley, who had his eyes closed and looked quite content to be exactly where he was.

“Well, my dear,” Said Aziraphale quietly, “It would appear that you’ve done a fairly good job of cheering me up.” 

“I didn’t know you could do  _ that _ .” Replied Crowley, opening his eyes and looking up at his Angel, appreciating the warmth that Aziraphale created while laying on top of him in the odd position that they were in in order to both fit on the sofa like this. 

“A little bit of  _ that _ is necessary sometimes.” Said Aziraphale 

“Oh, absolutely.” Whispered Crowley 

The two stayed like that for the rest of the night, eventually both falling asleep, comforted by each other’s presence. Aziraphale would continue to find comfort in Crowley, and would eventually get other the whole Heaven thing, because he had Crowley, and that was all that mattered to him. 


End file.
